My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot.
~ Ashleigh Brilliant


Friday, January 14, 2011

John Henry lament & some LOLs for TGIF!

You can just call me "Jane" Henry, because I'll die with a paintbrush in my hand, lord, lord... 



Well, turns out that when we took down the old quarter-round ceiling molding before we painted the room, it apparently left behind a perforation in the drywall that we couldn't see but that let the new paint seep behind some of the drywall paper, creating a hand-sized blister that appeared a couple of days later up by the new ceiling molding. You can't see it in the photo but it was definitely noticeable, especially in certain light. Of course I couldn't bear it, so we had our drywall guys Dana and Gordy out to make the repair on Tuesday. Dana's pretty meticulous, so he decided the corner needed straightening out while he was at it. So here's what our pretty new living room looked like on Tuesday


And wouldn't you know the blister just had to be in the wall above the bookcase? So I spent Monday night removing most of the rocking horses and all the fragile minis (that I had just so painstakingly put in there in November!) so we could move the bookcase on Tuesday morning. We also needed Dana and Gordy to repair/redo some previously-done (not by us!) unsightly patches in our laundry room ceiling where overhead lights had been before our remodel, and repair a crack above our terrace door in the dining room. So guess what we're doing this weekend? Priming and painting in all three rooms. AGAIN. I have primed, painted, plastered and/or stained every square inch of this house at least once, and usually twice (and in the case of our deck, every flippin'-flappin' year for 18 years)... and the house before that, and the house before that... hence my prediction that I'll die with a paintbrush in my hand, lord lord, gonna die with a paintbrush in my hand!

"Dead Painter" by Frank Kallop

Or... I might die laughing instead! Because to cheer myself up, I've been visiting Cake Wrecks, which is probably familiar to many of you but which I just stumbled upon the other day and that's often had me LOL.* Some of the cakes are hysterical, some are odd, and some are sick, just sick I tell you (really). All of them will make you feel better about your WORST cake-decorating - or any other culinary - disaster. And I love Jen's captions and editorial comments. Here's an example from the post, They'll NEVER Notice (captions hers)...

How to make Al feel special:
AFTERTHOUGHTS:
Technically they're still thoughts, and that's what counts.

(So, um, Joanne - aka AdventureJo - just who the hell's "Al?" LOL)

I have barely scratched the surface, but these are three of my favorite posts so far...
(Not all of the cakes are wrecks - some posts are devoted to some amazing cake-decorating art. My favorite so far, by far, is Seussical Sweets). 

And speaking of the animal kingdom and dying laughing, you have got to check out the hilarious, priceless video Molly shared on her latest post! (But I'd go pee first, if I were you!) ;-) It had me in absolute hysterics this morning.

*And also speaking of LOL ~ and I hate to admit this but sometimes you have to confess to these sorts of things on your blog for the cathartic effect it provides ~ when I was driving home from town on Wednesday I saw something that amused me. And my response was to think - to actually THINK - "LOL." I didn't think in a laughing noise, or in words like, "That's funny!" No, indeedy. I thought the letters "L" "O" "L". Is this normal? Does it mean I need to spend some significant time offline? I wish I could remember what it was that I saw that I found funny, because oh-so-briefly - in the nanosecond before I realized I'd thought "LOL," I thought, "I need to blog about that." But my sudden comprehension that I'd thought "LOL" eclipsed everything. (If I ever remember it, I'll post it here. Assuming they allow computer access at the asylum).


Have a great weekend! Stop by and grab a paintbrush if you're not busy! We'll drink beer and listen to more Springsteen. It'll be fun, you'll see! ;-)
One more time in case you missed it - it's a great tune to take us into the weekend!

;

20 comments:

  1. Cake Wrecks is mad hilarious. The folks who write that have the best sense of humor! I haven't read them in a long time - I think they must have fallen out of my history and I just forgot them, so thanks for reminding me! It will be fun to catch up on the backlog.

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  2. You were right — shoulda peed.

    Cake wrecks always makes me a little uneasy for fear one of my cakes could appear there.

    I hate doing things over, but, oh well. It will be so beautiful when you're done. :)

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  3. I hate those painting projects that just don't end

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  4. I've never seen the cake wrecks site, but now I've got something to check out this weekend. From what I've seen so far, it looks like a fun site!

    No wonder why you've been so busy lately. My goodness, have you painted a lot!

    I think "LOL" a lot, too, which is just so strange. heh :)


    I hope that others enjoy the video you linked to on my blog. I just love it so much & keep watching it.

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  5. Jim is running late so I had a few minutes to jump in here and see what funnies you had for me today! Thanks for letting me know - it was a hoot. I have your blog open twice so I can listen to the Boss while I read and write. Springsteen is another fav of mine.

    Thanks for picking the Al cake to showcase - I don't know who he is but he needs to get the heck off my cake!! But better that than my favorite one on Cake Wrecks: "Big Whoop" ROTFL Can you imagine getting presented with that cake!!!

    But my favorite part of this whole blog was the laugh I got after reading your whole painting saga and scrolling down to the "Dead Painter" painting. That just had me hooting!! You are SOOOOOO clever!!

    Thanks for all the laughs - I'm going to go look at more cakes!

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  6. Georgia ~ I figured I was probably one of the last people on the planet (or at least online!) to discover Cake Wrecks, but had to share it anyway. I'm glad it helped you find them again. They do have a fun sense of humor and keen wit!

    Andrea ~ Oh, dear. Well, can't say I didn't warn you! LOL

    I'm certain your fear is unfounded. I can't imagine anything you make showing up there. I submit your orange bundt cake as exhibit A. :-)

    "It will be so beautiful when you're done. :)"
    I was wondering how long it would take for someone to try to ease my pain with that phrase! LOL It would have been effective the first time we were slaving away over our living room painting and molding project, but I'm afraid its palliative effects are highly diluted this time around! (It WAS beautiful when we were done. If only it could have STAYED done!)

    Whaa-whaa, how ah do suffah. ;-)

    Jamie ~ Know anyone who doesn't? (Professional painters, maybe?)

    Molly ~ You think "LOL" too? Oh thank goodness, I thought it was just me. Now that I know you do it too, I don't think it's strange at all! Now it's just charming. ;-)

    That video you shared made my day! I've added it to my favorites and will continue to enjoy it, and will never fail to bust a gut over "Alan! Alan! Alan! Alan! Al!" (<-- hey, there's that Al again! LOL) "Alan!" "Alan!" ROTFL! The English accents made it so much funnier than it would have been otherwise. (Especially with the farting gorilla!) I noticed there were some similar ones on YouTube, all from the BBC - have you watched any of them? I'm going to go do that now. Thanks again for sharing that!

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  7. Fab post Laurie! What fun!

    Aww man, that is a drag you have to paint all that over again. I absolutely hate painting walls/houses etc...not that I've done a lot of it, but it's just not fun....keep drinkin' the brewskis!

    Those cakes are hilarious. Love the "and Al" afterthought one! I used to work in bakeries, and people would often come in to collect a cake after the bakers had gone...if the text wasn't right or something needed to be added, they would ask the counter clerk if they could write the extra stuff...well, it always ended up looking sort of like that...but usually not that good.

    I think I want a Big Whoop cake for my next birthday.

    The Seuss cakes are spectacular.

    LOL LOL, you mean people still laugh the old fashioned way?

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  8. i was about to write , yes you are totally normal for

    "...thought the letters "L" "O" "L". "

    but then i relized that maybe you really wouldnt feel better if i compared you to myself and the fact that not only do i DO that too but im paralyzed with fear everytime i talk to somebody new that i will LOL in public.

    we are doing stuff to our house too, just when you think something gets accomplished you notice the next thing. but its so great once its done!so we commiserate with you over here!

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  9. Jo ~ Wow, this was a fun surprise! I figured you were long gone and well on your way to the Yoopee, eh? and that it would be a week before you'd see this post! I'm glad you had time to visit it (and the Cake Wrecks blog) before you left, and that it tickled you so. :-)

    It's a known fact that all fans of Terry Jacks are also fans of Bruce Springsteen, because their music is so similar. LOL

    Yeah, this Al guy needs to find his own damn cake! No fair, RG'ing in on yours! (BW's friend Mike had an Uncle R.G. - it's a Texas thing, these initialed names - who was always grabbing the last thing off a platter at mealtimes, and sometimes even the food off other people's plates! So Mike's family called the taking of the last of something, or of something that wasn't yours, or of horning in on someone else's space/conversation/deal/whatever, RG'ing in on something. And we were so smitten with that phrase we stole it. Or rather, we RG'ed in on it!) I thought the contrast between the beautiful, delicate and feminine writing on the Joanne part of the cake with the oafish icing glob that spells out "and Al" was just too comical!

    I'm sure we've all known at least one person whose event deserved a "Big Whoop" cake. I'm surprised UPS didn't give one to BW yesterday. It was his 20th anniversary with the company and it went unacknowledged, except by one of the newest drivers and BW's morning supervisor. When BW mentioned to his manager that it was his 20 year anniversary, he basically got a "Big Whoop" in reply, but without the consolation of a cake beneath it! LOL

    I must admit, I was pretty pleased with myself when I found that Dead Painter painting. The only thing that would have made it better is if it had been a dead woman painter, but hey - beggars of obscure art subjects for their blog can't be choosers! ;-)

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  10. Thanks, Rose! Glad you enjoyed it! Despite my staining and priming toil, yesterday was a pretty fun day, and writing the second half of this post (I'd done the painting section of it the day before) was a big part of that. That video Molly shared was another part! :-)

    This do-over IS a drag, and you're right that painting is no fun (lol - I mistyped that "paining" and had to go back and add in the T - wondering as I did so, "WHY?" Paining is more accurate!) ;-) I didn't mind it so much the first time, because painting that green over our white walls was such an instant and lovely transformation, but now this - this is just an odious chore.

    Hey, thanks for the inside baseball! I mean, inside bakeball! :-) Seriously, those little icing add-ons by the counter clerk usually looked worse than "and Al?" That's just sad. Were customers okay with that? I love the ones on Cake Wrecks where the cake decorator took the inscription instructions literally. Especially this one and this one.

    I think a Big Whoop birthday cake is a brilliant idea! I want one for my next birthday too! (RG'ing in on your idea.) :-)

    Weren't those Dr. Seuss cakes amazing?! I especially love the last one - how did they do the water droplets coming out of the shower? That cake was WAY too awesome to eat!

    LOL - that's what I hear. Actual laughter is SO last millennium. ;-)

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  11. DD ~ You crack me up! I take great comfort in knowing that thinking "LOL" was not an experience unique to me, but seems instead to be a phenomenon of emailing/posting/blogging internet users. And I'm LOL'ing over your paralytic fear of saying "LOL"in a conversation with someone new. (I assume that saying it to someone familiar is not cause for embarrassment? This too is a relief!) :-)

    You are SO right about the remodeling domino effect! You get one thing or room fixed up and now the thing or room next to it, which looked perfectly acceptable before, looks shabby! I think it's a conspiracy by Home Depot. Thanks for commiserating! Nice to know I'm in such good company when it comes to home improvement rabbit holes AND thinking "LOL." :-)

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  12. Oh man...the cakes where they put the instructions on are too hilarious...I mean I am sitting here saying LOL, LOL, LOL, and sometimes OLL, and LLO.

    "Nuts Allergy" Happy Birthday! I'm going to start saying that.

    I love the vid that Molly posted too! "Helen! Helen! Helen!"

    Glad to hear your pain(t)ing day turned out to be fun! That's the way to roll!

    Rose xox

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  13. Rose ~ I know, aren't they a riot? Disturbing (is there no common sense left??), but a riot! :-)

    I think Hallmark should come out with a line of "Nuts Allergy Happy Birthday" cards. :-)

    That video Molly shared just keeps putting me into convulsions! And it never occurred to me the prairie dog might be hollering "Helen" with a cockney accent! "'elen! 'elen! 'elen!" LOL! He's actually hollering, "Alan," and look here -- Alan finally answers at the 2:22 mark! ROTFL! (There's a longer version of the "I'm Sabertooth!" "I'm Wolverine" seals with a really cute ending. And there's some new stuff, too! Can you tell I've been enjoying several of these videos?) :-)

    I got the dining room wall finished and the first coat on the living room wall (that is TEE-DEE-USSS! - lots of very delicate brushwork with a tiny artisan brush where the sheetrock meets the ceiling molding! I did a pretty good job, but have a couple of spots on the white molding I know have to touch up with white paint. Wish me luck I don't get white paint on the green wall now, or this could be an endless hellish cycle!) BW got the laundry room ceiling primed, so he'll start painting it tomorrow.

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  14. I totally thought he was saying Helen! "Bob, Bob, Bob"...to cute. Also those zebras have really nice teeth!

    Glad to hear about the progress...good luck with the white touch up! If it were me, I'd mess it up for sure...but I think you're painting skill is far better than mine!

    Have a good one! ::)

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  15. Rose- I thought he was saying Ellen at first. The accent threw me off!

    This all reminds me about the from Strange Wilderness. Mike and I laughed so hard at it that our stomachs hurt- http://bissell.promo.eprize.com/mvpcontest/gallery?id=6806

    Off topic- I need to brush up on my html. I don't know if it's just a major brain fart, but I seem to have forgotten most of it.... otherwise I'd put the link in a word!

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  16. Doh! Wrong link. Here's the right one- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvbKmyp9WI0

    Again.... brain fart. heh Oh, and the link does have one F bomb in it, just to forewarn.

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  17. Rose ~ I'm sure those zebras' pretty teeth come from their plant-based diet and all that flossing with Serengeti grasses. :-)

    If my skill in painting tediously minuscule areas is better than yours, it's probably because I had all that practice painting tiny Santas! :-) I do believe it's all done, though BW is waiting for the laundry room ceiling to dry completely before deciding if it needs a second coat of paint (I think it looks great!), and I still have some tiny bay window trim to touch up that's not related to the wall bubble project. I hope to do that and the last little bit of staining downstairs finished this week. Yay! Of course, more projects lurk on the horizon, but I do so love crossing things of my list! :-)

    By the way, did you get a gander at today's Cake Wrecks post? Gorgeous princess cakes, but it's the Tinkerbell Fairy Woodland House cake I fell in love with!

    Molly ~ I got a bigger kick out of your Bissell boo-boo link than I did the shark video you linked to, I have to admit! Because of course I thought, "A link to a Bissell promo? I thought it was supposed to be something funny! THIS SUCKS!" LOL! (We have a Bissell vacuum, so the pun just took control over me. I couldn't help it! :-)

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  18. Ok, I'm slow getting caught up, but I'm comforted by knowing I'm now the only one living in construction! RIght now I am in a heavy demolition phase, and personally, I've given up on the painting phase since I lack the patience and paint ends up in all the wrong places so I give you major points for being able to do it properly--that is a very difficult task, at least for me. Hope it is all back to normal by now. Cheers

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  19. Molly ~ Thanks, you're a good sport! LOL

    Daphne ~ I know a lot of people in the middle of home improvement projects all of a sudden, but you win the prize for biggest makeover! I hope to get by your blog later in the week and catch up on the latest remodeling news.

    The living room is all back to normal, but now I'm in the middle of painting the inside of our linen closet. I have to contort myself like a yogini to do it, and have whacked my head on the bottom of every shelf at least once. NO FUN! But it needed it, and... feel free to join in here, folks....it'll look so nice when it's finished! ;-)~

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SOME CURRENT & RECENT READING...

SOME CURRENT & RECENT READING...

  • INFERNO ~ Dan Brown
  • MIDNIGHT IN THE GARDEN OF GOOD & EVIL ~ John Berendt
  • MY NOTORIOUS LIFE: A NOVEL ~ Kate Manning
  • ONE SUMMER: AMERICA, 1927 ~ Bill Bryson
  • QUIET: THE POWER OF INTROVERTS IN A WORLD THAT CAN'T STOP TALKING ~ Susan Cain
  • THE BEAUTIFUL CIGAR GIRL ~ Daniel Stashower
  • THE DEVIL IN THE WHITE CITY ~ Erik Larson
  • THE SHADOWS, KITH AND KIN ~ Joe R. Lansdale
  • THE TIPPING POINT ~ Malcolm Gladwell
There is still strong in our society the belief
that animals and the natural world have value
only insofar as they can be converted into revenue.
That nature is a commodity.
And that the American dream is one of unlimited consumption.
There are many of us, on the other hand,
who believe that animals and the natural world
have value by virtue of being alive.
That Nature is a community to which we belong
and to which we owe our lives.
And that the deeper American dream is one of unlimited compassion.

~John Robbins, "The Food Revolution"