My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot.
~ Ashleigh Brilliant

Friday, December 4, 2009

Friday KISS - Citrus Peeler

Your Friday KISS for this week -
the humble but useful citrus peeler
that gets my seal of approval!

Get it? "Seal kiss?" Sounds like "citrus!"
(Don't look at me like that). ;-)

If you've browsed them at all, you know there are many styles of citrus peelers out there, from the sublimely simple...
to the ridiculously complex!

(Was this what the Spanish Inquisition used to peel their oranges? It's absurd. But what a conversation piece to have bolted to your kitchen counter!)

Obviously, my taste runs to the simple, low-tech, and non-torture-related. So I have this one, which I use to great effect to peel oranges...

(Having no oranges at hand, however, I had to use lemons for props. No matter, this gizmo will happily peel lemons, limes, grapefruits, kumquats...)

Several years ago I was helping a hospitalized friend by cleaning her kitchen when I found this whatsit in one of her overflowing utensil drawers. I thought it was some broken-off part of something that hadn't been thrown away (you'd understand if you'd seen her kitchen!), so I set it aside in the "I'm pretty sure you meant to throw this away but it slipped your mind" pile to ask her about. After she returned home I asked her what it was, and imagine my surprise when she told me that this thing that looked like a toothbrush that had lost its bristles was, in fact, an orange peeler! I made her prove it. ;-) Sure enough, she peeled an orange with it lickity-split! "I must have one!" said I, the kitchen-gadget junkie. So she gave it to me. And thus did I come to own this implement whose humble appearance belies a very useful function, which it performs admirably and without frightening heretics like me. ;-)

Should you wish to own one as well, come clean my kitchen and I'll give you mine. Haha, just kidding! I mean, feel free to come clean my kitchen, but no way are you gettin' my citrus peeler! :-)~

No, you can get a free one and you don't even have to clean anyone's kitchen or organize their messy drawers. You just have to be willing to contact your local Tupperware consultant, have a catalog thrust at you and listen patiently to their spiel while wondering whether your free citrus peeler was:

A) really worth it, compared to cleaning someone's kitchen, and
B) doubles as a lethal weapon.

No, just kidding again! No doubt Tupperware makes fine products and their consultants are nothing at all like Amway ghouls!)*

And while we're on the subject of citrus-related kitchen implements, this is my favorite zester, and this is my favorite citrus reamer. I own the zester but not the reamer. I just thought the reamer is really, um, interesting. Would go nicely with that medieval torture device disguised as a citrus peeler, and probably is equally crackerjack at reaming both citrus fruits and Amway representatives.* I must have one. Mwwwahahahaha! ;-)

*Snarky comments are based on the personal experience of being held hostage for most of a Saturday by an Amway ghoul who misrepresented herself (i.e. "LIED") as a self-employed distributor of educational materials who wanted to offer me a job. Aforementioned snarky comments in no way imply that I want to hear from anyone representing Amway who feels the need to defend Amway's reputation or honor. Amway sucks.


  1. We have the same peeler & love it! I'm amazed at how simple it makes peeling oranges. Genius!

  2. Molly, I think you're the first person I've known who has had this same peeler! I share your amazement and agree that it's ingenious. :-)

  3. omg, I peel my tangerines with my bare fingers! the depravity!


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  • THE HUMANE GARDENER ~ Nancy Lawson
  • THE WORLD WITHOUT US ~ Alan Weisman

There is still strong in our society the belief
that animals and the natural world have value
only insofar as they can be converted into revenue.
That nature is a commodity.
And that the American dream is one of unlimited consumption.
There are many of us, on the other hand,
who believe that animals and the natural world
have value by virtue of being alive.
That Nature is a community to which we belong
and to which we owe our lives.
And that the deeper American dream is one of unlimited compassion.

~John Robbins, "The Food Revolution"

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